Justified

I'll be the first to admit my headaches are a bit out of control.  I fully understand that!  I just don't have much I can do about it to change it.  Things in my world are chaotic and stressful.  It's the nature of my life lately.  Perhaps I'm exaggerating and trying to justify the headaches.  But if I listed the big concerns on my plate, I think most people would also feel some stress.  At least a little!  There never seems to be a break in reality to allow a moment to relax, breathe, and calm down.  Now, I do find little moments to relax and enjoy the little moments of life.  Yesterday, our shower head broke, mid-shower.  (I could turn the shower on and off, but no longer adjust the temperature.)  So, Luke and I hopped in the car and ran to Menard's.  We goofed around at the store.  Found the piece we needed.  Remembered to grab a light bulb.  And then decided we are going to learn how to play Farkle!  We found Hot Sundae Pop Tarts, and decided we had to see if Jessica was right...  Were they tastey? We laughed as we tried to see how many more things we could add and carry ~ we didn't think we'd need a cart.  Heartbroken, Luke determined I was the winner.  I had 8 items, he had 7.  A quick grab at the isle and he announced a tie!  :)  The way home we continued our games.  I started asking all kinds of random questions to the boy...  He laughed as he tried to come up with the answers. 

This was a fun little moment ~ Just Luke and I.  But, in the back of my head the rest of it was still running full blast!  Running through the back of my head I'm still working through a conversation with Forrest the other day.  Forrest had really bad chest pains right before getting the flu.  He couldn't get the pain to ease up, even with pain pills.  Then he started throwing up, and felt even worse.  Forrest lay in bed, exhausted, as I try to figure out what I can do to help him.  He looks up at me and says, "It's going to hurt really bad, isn't it?"  I assumed he was talking about getting sick again, but I asked what he meant.  A tear rolled down his cheek as he said dying.  :(  Ugh!  He's very scared...  And so am I!  :(  We chatted for a bit.  Now I know he was feeling miserable, but it was still difficult to hear him ask if it's still considered suicide if he's in so much pain, and dying anyway.  :(

Yep, a bit o' stress.  Add on that last night my daughter got sick at her last night of camp.  She threw up.  After the week we had, we knew she wasn't going to be better after throwing up once.  It would linger.  We packed up the kids, talked to the counselors and the director, grabbed a garbage can and bags, and left to get her.  We arrived in Madison about 11:40.  We got Jess, I signed her out, packed up her things and headed back home.  The bumps and jiggles over Madison's streets weren't helping Jess, but she eventually managed to fall asleep.  Just before 1:00am Jess sat up and said, "Mom help!"  I grabbed the garbage can as she sat up and started throwing up.  Luckily I had lined several layers of garbage bags, so I could twist off the main bag while she finished.  Her belly settled, Jessica laid back trying to rest.

We couldn't pull off in the middle of the highway, but we knew there was an exit and gas station in a couple miles.  We could stop there and re-group.  As we pulled in, we saw the station was closed.  :(  Boo!  But at least we could empty the garbage bags and put in fresh liners.  Jess could also rinse her mouth with Gatorade and spit it out.  As we finished up cleaning the car, and Jess, Forrest started shaking.  I figured he was just chilled being out in the middle of the night.  I asked Forrest if I could finish driving.  He could sit back by Jessica.  Fo said no, he'd drive.  I figured his stomach may be too sensitive if Jess started throwing up again, so I let him continue driving.

We rolled into the garage about 2am.  The kids all settled into bed, but something was wrong with Forrest.  He was still shaking.  His whole body was shaking uncontrollably.  Without realizing, Forrest's blood sugar had plummeted.  Not good.  He drank a soda to try to quickly get some sugars in him.  He couldn't stop shaking and still felt cold.  I put him in a hot shower to try to get him under control.  30 minutes in a scalding hot shower, and the shakes were still there.  Not as bad, but there.  He was able to drink a little more.  I tried to get him to eat some fruit or a sandwich, but his stomach was too unsettled.  He was fighting to not throw up. 

The hot water ran out, and I got Forrest dressed in warm, comfy clothes.  After a bit, Forrest was able to sit without being too dizzy, and he was able to eat some cereal.  At least something was going in.  As he finished up, I got him a Percoset to help with his pain.  (Only 5 left...  Better be enough til Monday!)  I checked on Jess and got Forrest to bed.  He still wasn't doing great, but was a little better.  I wanted to keep a close eye on him to make sure his sugars were better and he was going to be okay.  About 4:30am I settled down enough, and had my own headache relaxed enough to try to fall asleep.  Whew! 

Wow!  I really ramble!  I should have just said ~  I get headaches.  They're bad.  I think they're from stress.  I need to work on controlling them better!!

Have a great day all!  I plan to lay low and keep an eye on all my babes...  :)